Solo Flight, Lesson 2: Defining the Ideal

This is the second installment in our ongoing self-guided coaching course, “Solo Flight.” It’s designed to help lawyers sort through the issues; to separate fact from fiction, hype from hope; and finally, to decide whether they really want to “go solo” and hang out that shingle in private practice. Lasting six weeks, the course will eventually be transformed into a self-paced and self-contained e-book located here on this site. If you want to catch up, you can start here with the Introduction, proceed to lesson one (in two parts – here, and then here), and then come back to this post. What you’ll need: a notebook or journal, a good pen, some time, and some privacy – plus a willingness to remain open, with no preconceived notions of how this journey will end.

A Note About This Approach

By now, you may have noted that this approach is a bit different from other “making the decision” books, articles, and blog posts. Most such resources that I read when I was up to my eyeballs in this decision-making process focused on personal traits and characteristics. The authors asked me questions like “Are you a self-starter?” and “Have you ever started a business before?” The answers, they intimated, would dictate my success. All due respect to my colleagues, but those things simply don’t measure your success. They only measure certain factors that may impact that success – but there are better ways to go about making the decision.

The philosophy behind my approach is simple: Our desires will dictate our success, but only when we are fully prepared to meet the challenge. In practical terms, this philosophy translates into the following formula:

• First, decide what you want.
• Then – and only then – engage in self-evaluation: measuring and analyzing your skills, experience, and knowledge as compared to the end goal, and identifying your strengths and weaknesses.
• Finally, after that analysis is complete, chart a plan to overcome those weaknesses by shoring them up and by relying on those strengths.

Why this approach? Why not the “pros & cons” listmaking or the personality test approach? Because those approaches are backwards, and ask the wrong questions. Starting a business is hard work. It’s excruciatingly difficult at times, and to stick it out through the lean times, the owner must have a solid supply of passion. It doesn’t have to be passion for being a solo or an entrepreneur, oddly enough; it can be passion for the type of work being done, or passion for a particular cause being supported. If that passion is completely lacking, best to know it now and turn your attention to other paths. But – as I suspect – if there’s some passion there (for otherwise, mere curiosity alone wouldn’t have led you here and kept you here), you can identify it now, so you can protect and nurture it later.

This might seem radical to some, a waste of time to others. Some may be longing solely for the rational analysis – the facts, figures, the pros and cons. Or, maybe you already know what you want. Even if you feel resistant to this approach, for whatever reason, I urge you to take the time to go through the exercises. There are nuances to solo life that, if you can engage in this process fully now, up front, you can use to create even greater satisfaction – and success – down the road.

So, what’s next?

Affirmative Action

Last time we started creating affirmations – simple declarative sentences in the present tense that assume and affirm the happening of some goal or ideal state of circumstances. We started by listing negative keywords – the things we wanted to avoid – and turning them into their opposites. Then we incorporated those positive words into the embryonic affirmation. Now, we’re going to further develop them, by making them vibrant and personally powerful.

Some tips to keep in mind:

• Keep them short. Length does not equate with success here. You should be able to get it all out on one breath when speaking them aloud.
• Use descriptive and powerful words. Remember, part of what we want to create is an emotional response – something that “feels” good.
• Use active verbs, where possible. “Be” and “am” and “have” are all fine, if that’s the best you can do, but wherever possible pick words that have a bit more energy behind them.
• Don’t neglect emotional states – “I love …” for instance, or “I relish…”
• Try saying them aloud at least once, to see how they flow. If the affirmation doesn’t “feel right” coming out of your mouth, you might want to revise it a bit until it does.

For some, this is going to be the extent of your work with the affirmations – simply creating them. You might not feel affirmations to be especially helpful, and if not, that’s fine – just move on. Otherwise, I encourage you to work with the affirmations on a daily basis.

How do we work with affirmations? One of the easiest ways is to use them in meditation. Simply repeat the affirmations to yourself – either silently, mentally, or aloud – as you reflect on their meaning. This is doubly effective when you can couple the affirmation with a clear mental visualization of the goal coming to pass. See the happening of that goal as if through your own eyes, not as if you were looking at a movie of yourself. Put yourself in the picture, and see yourself moving through the day with the affirmation being your reality. Example: if my affirmation is “I am a successful litigator,” then my visualization is myself, standing before the jury box, making an impassioned closing argument. I don’t view myself, though – I see the jury before me, as if they’re really there.

Another way is to simply write them down, over and over, on a piece of paper. Remember that favorite fifth grade punishment? Yes, evil old Mrs. Miller who made you write 100 times “I will not forget my homework” was actually employing affirmations! (Of course, she’d have been more successful if she had you write “I always remember my homework!”)

Play “Reporter”

The second part of your assignment this week is a bit more proactive and “down to earth.” One of the biggest stumbling blocks in making this big decision about whether to launch a solo practice is lack of information. You want to know what it’s really like, right? Well, we’re going to find out. Not immediately, but before the end of the program. This week, we’re going to lay the groundwork.

Start by browsing through your state’s attorney directory, if you have one, or the Yellow Pages of the telephone book, or the bar association’s online member directory. We’re looking for three solo lawyers. But not just any solo lawyers – we’re looking for three particular kinds of solos:

• One should be a solo in your intended practice area. If you don’t know what your practice area would be just yet, that’s fine – take an educated guess, or look for a lawyer with a more generalized practice. Or just choose one that intrigues you.
• One should be a solo of your gender and general demographic. If you’re a young attorney, fresh out of law school, unmarried and no kids, look for another solo who graduated within the last five years, is unmarried, and has no children. If you’re middle aged with growing kids, pick a solo who’s also middle aged with school-aged children.
• Finally, one should be a solo who’s been out for awhile – at least six to eight years, ten or more if possible.

In your journal, on three separate pages, write down the solo’s name, their contact information, and which category they fall into. For the rest of the page, divide it into two sections by drawing a vertical line about 1/3rd of the way across the page from the left margin. On the left side, you’re going to jot down your questions; the right side is where you’ll write down notes of the solo’s answers – eventually. That’s right – you’re going on some interviews, but not just any interviews. We’re after AIR: advice, information, and referrals (as Linda Laufer calls it). Next week, we’re going to start pinpointing those questions, but for now, just take some time to identify your interviewees, and prepare their pages.

Your Vision, Your Reality

The last part of your homework (sorry – this is an intensive week!) is a little more complex, and it’s a writing exercise. In order to evaluate properly whether a solo practice is right for you – and how much work you’ll have to do to make such a practice succeed – we need to explore your expectations of solo practice. So, in this exercise, set a timer for thirty minutes, and write in a stream of consciousness style on the topic: “What solo practice is like, according to me.” Don’t take the pen off the paper, and censor nothing. Not even a stray scribble or misspelled word – just write the word correctly next to it and keep going, or better yet, leave it as is and keep moving. The faster you can write, the more honest your writing will be.

Some things to consider:

• Do you think solos are rich or poor?
• Are solos happy, contented – or miserable and grumpy?
• What sorts of bosses do solos make?
• What about a solo practice – what kind of clients come in the door?
• What deals do solos have to make with themselves? With their families?
• What sacrifices do you think solos endure, for the sake of their practices?
• What sacrifices do they endure for the sake of their families?
• Are they better than big firm lawyers? Are big firm lawyers better than solos?

After you’ve written for half an hour, take a break and massage your hand a bit. Come back to what you’ve written after the break and look it over. What’s your immediate response to what you wrote? What “feels” true and what feels like supposition and preconceived prejudice or “belief” that may not be grounded in fact? Can you identify any huge gaps in your expectations? Are there things you simply don’t know? Make notes of these questions – they will help form the basis of your interviews later.

Next, ask yourself whether these expectations are realistic, and whether any part of them excites you a little. Make a note of what gets you “juiced” about the possibilities, and keep those thoughts in a separate list as well.

Finally, identify those expectations that make you doubt solo life as a viable choice for you. What feels wrong, or as if it wouldn’t fit with your life or your family’s needs or your personality? Make a separate list of those points. At the end of this exercise, therefore, you’ll have several pages of narrative writing, and three lists: questions to ask, expectations you embrace, and expectations you reject.

That’s it for this week! Next week, we’ll take our interview plans a step further, and start challenging our assumptions and expectations about solo practice.

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