This three part series will examine coaching as a profession, how it applies to the legal profession, and what a professional coach can do for your practice. Today’s post, “Why I Called Randy Pausch A Coach,” examines the concept of “found coaches.”
To Some, “Coach” Is A Dirty Word
In this post, I called Professor Randy Pausch of the “How to Live Your Childhood Dreams” “lecture of a lifetime” (one of last week’s most talked about stories) an “uber-coach.” I think it’s worthwhile to explore what I meant by that, given that so many lawyers – with their left-brain, analytical habits – tend to either misunderstand what coaching is all about, or look down on it as so much “touchy-feely New Age crap.” The word “coach” has particularized meanings for those who used to play team sports, of course, and perhaps some don’t appreciate what might be seen as the usurpation of the word for something that is perceived to be very different (aka “life coaching”).
As a coach and a lawyer, I find the linguistic gymnastics and skirmishes fascinating. As with any so-called movement, the “coaching movement” (if we can even call it that – more on my skepticism on that point in a bit) has engendered a lot of support, and then just as surely a lot of opposition. Some of that opposition was earned; when it’s directed against someone like Kevin Trudeau, I don’t have any arguments with it. But some of it goes farther, broader, and deeper than questioning a factual occurrence, a particular individual’s competence or motivations – it begins tearing at the very essence of what coaching is and what it is (and isn’t) meant to accomplish. Based mostly on misperceptions and gross generalizations, compounded by extreme exaggerations, this kind of opposition isn’t helpful to anyone. Those who are exposed to this kind of opposition, who lack direct coaching experience, may understandably be driven to some pretty negative conclusions about coaches and coaching in general. That’s unfortunate.
Steve Salerno: Anti-SHAM
For a particularly vocal opponent of coaching, and one of apparent strong emotions on the subject, see Steve Salerno’s “SHAMBlog” and his book titled SHAM (Self Help and Actualization Movement – his clever acronym). I read through many of Salerno’s posts and found myself somewhat sapped of energy and demoralized – not because of any hard-hitting logical arguments against what I do, or what other coaches do, but solely because the entire blog – in fact, his entire life’s work – appears to be devoted strictly to fighting against this force he apparently believes to be so dangerous and maleficent – the self-help movement. (Again, usual reservations about the word “movement.”) When you set yourself up to be identified solely in opposition to something – standing for nothing in particular of your own – what are you really building? It’s like sculpting in bone-dry, powder-soft sand: nothing remains, just the absence of whatever you’re fighting against. Your mileage may vary but it left me feeling very sad for Salerno, and not a little enervated myself.
It ought to go without saying but apparently for some it does need to be said: this isn’t what coaching is about. Elsewhere on his site and on the Amazon page linked to above, it is noted that Salerno’s argument carves up the so-called self-help movement into two camps – those who victimize (or give implicit permission to readers to make victims of themselves) and those who empower – but the catch is, he says, both camps excuse inaction.
See – this is where he loses me. I don’t know what coaches he’s been speaking to but no coach I’ve ever met has ever excused inaction on the part of the person being coached. Quite the opposite – but we’ll get more into that in post #2.
Randy Pausch Is A Coach
Randy Pausch is a coach – not necessarily one by choice, but definitely one by example. And that’s one of the highest compliments I can pay a person, in my view. Coaches do not excuse, direct, order, coddle, or placate. Instead, the best coaches:
- lead by example;
- show how experiences translate to other experiences, so that lessons apply universally even in the absence of a completely similar history or path;
- inspire, but indirectly – by coaxing the coached person to pull his or her own inspiration out from the whole messy collection of his or her life and experience;
- provide structure and help the coached person regain a sense of control and mastery;
- point out a different perspective;
- leave the coached person with a heightened sense of possibility – that they, too, can take the actions they need to take to be able to say, with the coach, “I did it, and you can too.”
Maybe the problem isn’t skepticism. Maybe it’s that people like Steve Salerno really take issue with that last quote – specifically, the “you can, too” part. Maybe some people don’t want human potential to be unlimited. Maybe it scares them, or maybe it threatens them as high achievers – maybe they don’t want anyone else playing in their sandbox. I honestly don’t know. I’ve never felt that way – I want everyone to have all the sandboxes they desire and can manage. So I can speak with absolutely zero authority on those who would dismiss Randy Pausch’s comments as so much “feel good glurge” or to those who would take issue with my calling Randy a coach.
Found Coaches
Randy is a good example of a “found coach” – a coach by example because his life, reflected in the words of his lecture last week, showed those who are willing to hear those words a road map of sorts – his road map, with a successful “finish.” In that sense, anyone can be a coach – and you can be coached by anyone, regardless of whether you even ever meet the person, or whether they know they’re coaching you. A friend of mine used to say, “I take my life lessons where I can find ‘em.” And it’s much the same thing. There are teachers, coaches, and mentors all around you. Some are for life. Some are for limited purposes. Some are for this moment, this time, right now, and no other. It’s up to you to decipher the code for your life, to process the teaching, and to allow the coach to move you to right action.
Why It’s Not a “Movement”
Skeptics and critics like Salerno seem to base their hostility towards coaching on a misperception that it’s some new-fangled concept devised solely to separate hard-working but misguided people from their money. While the term “coach” and the practice of the modern-day coaching profession may well be new, it actually has its roots in an age-old human need.
That need – the need to be mentored and guided – was filled in times past by guilds, by the apprenticeship system, and by the tradition of sons following fathers into the family trade or business. (Daughters, of course, followed the mothers into the kitchens, but similarly received hands-on guidance and – well – coaching, as to the roles they’d be expected to fill.)
With the disappearance of such systems and procedures for the passing on of wisdom and skill, a hole developed that needed to be filled somehow. The concept of a “professional mentor” sprang up in the 20th century (if not before, at least casually or informally), and from that grew the concept of coaching – a person who was trained specifically to work with individuals on their specific goals and needs.
So, I have a hard time looking at the ancient human drive to better one’s self, to improve one’s skills, and to achieve one’s dreams as a “movement” of any sort. The need’s been there all along, and throughout history, it’s been met by different approaches. I simply reject any contention that it’s “bad” or “wrong” to seek help in staying on course, discovering and taking right action, and meeting and achieving goals and dreams.
Coming Up: What Coaches Really Do
There are almost as many kinds of coaches as there are “flavors” of human endeavor. But let’s restrict ourselves to the professional kind – those who help or assist with some aspect of our work, what we do for a living, or how we market ourselves. And to illustrate it authentically, there’s really only one coach I can talk about – and that’s me. So, on Monday we’ll take a look at “A Day In the Life of the Solo Lawyer Coach” – what I do, what I don’t do, and why sometimes simply having that other pair of eyes and ears there might be all you need to coach yourself to excellence and success.
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